The Velvet Executive Suite: The 4-Point Adjusted Harness

By: Cocoa (CEO – Chief Everything Officer)

Listen, interns. If you’re going to be seen escorting me—a black, long-haired CEO—on a "perimeter check" of the neighborhood, you cannot do it in a harness that looks like it came from a discount bin. I have standards. This harness is for the "colleagues" (the dogs) who want to look like they actually have a corner office while enjoying the peak comfort required for a 22-hour nap schedule.

I’ve personally vetted this design to ensure it meets the rigorous standards of Cocoa The Trendy Pet:

• Executive-Level Comfort: We’ve wrapped our best-selling design in plush velvet. It feels like a dream against your fur, which is non-negotiable for an elite feline like myself.

• Precision Management (4-Point Adjustability): This harness features four points of adjustability to ensure it fits like a dream. No more "wardrobe malfunctions" during a high-stakes squirrel pursuit.

• Breathable Operations: The breathable padded lining ensures that even the most high-energy junior associates won't overheat while trying to keep up with my brisk pace.

• The Gold Standard: We’ve finished the look with elevated gold hardware. It’s the perfect touch of authority to remind everyone who really owns the sidewalk.

The Executive Review

Rating: 🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾 (5 out of 5 Paws)

"I’ll be honest—between all the salmon snacks and tuna appetizers, my breath can be a bit... assertive. My human calls it 'stinky,' but I call it the 'scent of a closing deal'. This velvet harness is so stunningly fabulous and 'extra' that it provides the perfect visual distraction. No one focuses on the breath when they’re blinded by this much gold-plated luxury. It’s a total power move."

— Cocoa, Long-Haired CEO