Listen, I know what you’re thinking. “Cocoa, why did it take so long?” Believe me, I’ve been asking the same thing.
I’ve spent months watching the Tall Human (the one who thinks she’s in charge) staring at glowing screens and talking about "data" and "e-commerce." Finally, I swiped a paw across her keyboard and made it clear: The world needs my face on a t-shirt.
She finally got the hint. My official merch is dropping in just a couple of days.
🐾 The CEO’s First Collection
I’ve personally supervised every stitch (mostly by napping on the samples to test for maximum softness). Here’s what you can expect when the store goes live:
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Human-Sized Tees (Adults): For when you want to look as sophisticated as I do while you’re out running errands or pretending to work.
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Small Human Tees (Kids): I’ve seen the little ones, Tristan and Ellie, running around—they need clothes that can keep up with them, and my face is the ultimate "cool" factor for the playground.
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The "And More": Let’s just say my influence isn't limited to just fabric. There are other surprises coming that are almost as exciting as a fresh box of treats.
😼 A Note to my Housemates
Yes, Oreo and Peeps are aware of the situation. Are they jealous? Probably. But let’s be real—I’m the one with the "main character" energy. They can have the leftover cardboard boxes; I’ll take the fashion empire.
I might let them have a guest appearance on a sticker or something later if they behave and stop stealing my favorite sun spot.
🗓️ Mark Your Calendars
The shop link will be live in the next 48 hours. Don't be late. I don't like to be kept waiting, and I certainly don't like being out of stock. My bowl isn't going to fill itself with the premium stuff, you know.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, all this "branding" has me exhausted. It’s time for my third morning nap.
Final Instruction: Watch this space. I’ll make sure the human sends out the link the second it's ready.
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